antm11

It’s so early! Aren’t you proud of me?

Anyways, before I get to it, I’d like to thank everyone for your comments and Dorian for filling in with his awesome recap last week. Thanks!

Previously on Top Model, we had racist Alaskans and hot air balloons. Yadda yadda yadda.

This is the first time I’ve actually seen the opening credits, so sorry if I’m late but WTF at Tyra being shown for longer than the girls. Ugh. The girls look really good though. For the few seconds they’re shown.

The girls are in the bus, and are discussing the competition. Brittany discusses how she what she sees and what the judges see are completely different. I wholeheartedly agree. Analeigh last week and the week before, anyone? Brittany wants to be a high fashion model (she pronounces it muahdel, which irks me) but is frustrated because they just keep telling her that she’s “pretty”. Analeigh says that last week was a wakeup call, just like the week before. She wants to wake up. Aw, I want to give her a hug. By the way, it’s so ridiculously obvious that Brittany and Analeigh are going to be in the bottom two this week. I mean, even if it was the first time watching, I would be willing to bet every dollar I have that they’re going home. Way to go, editors!

The girls get home, and are greeted by TYRA! who is wearing a tiara/crown and is waving a wand. They have a pretty princess party, with tiaras, pizza, and princess gift bags for everybody. Tyra must’ve mistaken the girls for the toddlers she’s visiting for some future Tyra Banks Show episode. She talks about the makeover she had to go through in her career. Her words aren’t too important, or at least not enough for me to type them out. The moral of the story is that the girls are getting MAKEOVERS!!! WOOO!! She’s just about to tell Analeigh what her makeover is when Ms J, in his old hag from Snow White outfit comes in with apples. Ok, Ms J is a fabulous actor. Tyra takes the apple because she’s hungry. Isn’t she always? Anyways, she “passes out” and Prince Couture, or Mr Jay, comes out and gives her a kiss. Poor Mr Jay. With really really awful acting, she says that she can’t tell the girls their makeovers. Then he lifts her up and tells the girls that Tyra will be ok and carries her away. Okay, really, poor Mr Jay. He must’ve had to work out for quite awhile to prepare for this. Or else there’s wires holding her up.  Anyways, the moral of that incredibly corny and awful acting scene is MAKEOVERS!!

Analeigh is pissed at the damn poisonous apple because she wanted to know what her makeover was. She calls her hair a mop, which makes me sad because she has the prettiest hair ever, and makes me feel like my hair is a really ugly mop compared to hers. The girls go to the salon, and the mirrors are covered and the girls don’t know what they’re getting until they’re done. Tyra is back in the “Tyra Vision” or whatever it was called last cycle as the “Good Fierce Witch”. Um…ok. Makeovers:

Marjorie is too blonde, so she gets brown hair of the same length.

Joslyn needs hair “down to here” with waves and texture.

Elina is afraid to look silly and hopes that she gets long dark hair.

Samantha looks too mallrat, so they cut off her hair to elevate her. She cries and Sutan jokes with her about her  boyfriend not liking her anymore. I love Sutan. He gets cool points. She feels fierce and modely.

Hannah is mousy, so she gets her hair darkened, shortened, and gets bangs

Clark is too Southern Unedgy Blonde, so she gets really dark hair. Clark says that she’s still blonde on the inside. Sweetheart, trust me we know.

Lauren Brie jokes with Clark that she won’t be friends with her because she left the blonde club. Lauren Brie goes platinum blonde without much ado.

Sheena is surprised when they pull up the cart of coloring. She gets light highlights.

The hair stylists note that Analeigh has a lot of hair. She needs more pop, so she gets layers and blonde hair. Her reaction? “Oh, wow. It’s blonde”. Hee. Cool points. She notes that the brunette fits better with her reserved nature, so she has to be more confident as a blonde.

Elina is really scared. She does not want a drastic makeover. Ms J scares the crap out of her by confirming that her makeover is super drastic. J tells her that she should be really scared. She gets red, wavy thick, and luscious hair. While they are putting the first part of the weave in, she see’s it and is not happy. “Oh my god…” That is exactly what I said. When they hold it up, it looks kind of like an orange Ronald McDonald hair clipping. She cries about it because it’s so different. Seriously though, her hair looks really crazy right now. It is like a quasi-afro, but only on the sides. In short, it’s clown hair at this point. Poor girl. She looks pretty when she cries though.

McKey can take any look, so she get’s black short hair.

Isis’s hair needs to be longer.

Brittany is proud of her soft hair, and Christian Marc tells her it’s like his horse. HA! Oh my god I love Christian Marc. Cool points. She gets a wavy-ish weave. Ms J tells her she’s pretty looking, which pisses her off. She cries about it, and that pisses me off. Her voice bothers me.

My Opinions-

First of all, isn’t black supposed to be a flattering color? I like that it’s nice and simple this time (no toilet paper bikinis this year!), but the girls look too big for modelling here. Maybe it’s just me. And I hate that I had to say that, because model-skinny makes me sad.

Marjorie’s makeover ispretty good. Her abs are nice though.

Joslyn’s makeover is also kind of non-descript. Does she look like a black version of Kathy C6 to anybody here?

I LOVE Samantha’s makeover. I’m still not sold on her yet, but she looks a million times better here. She looks really worried in her picture though. Maybe it’s just her left eyebrow.

I really don’t like Hannah’s photo or her makeover, to be honest. She kind of got Nikeysha’s haircut. Her legs are really long though.

Clark’s picture is kind of weird too. I think its the legs. Clark has a very strong hairline, and I think the hair might be too dark. I would have preferred her hair to be a lighter shade of brown.

Lauren Brie’s makeover is pretty much unnoticeable to me. Her head looks photoshopped onto her  body in her photo though.

Sheena is doing that banal concave back pose that is so high fashion, which is really used way too often. Her hair also makes her look like a dime-a-dozen asian that I can find anywhere, albeit a pretty one.

Analeigh’s makeover is okay. It really makes her eyes pop, but I would’ve preferred a darker color instead. She looks kind of chipmunky in her photo.

Elina’s makeover was really something. I don’t really know how I feel about it, but at first it definitely was awful when it was all frizzy and clownish. Once it toned down into more wavy loose curls, it was better. But I think it’d be better straightened. I liked her pre-makeover look more though.

McKey’s makeover is really nice, and her photo is good.

Isis’s hair was an improvement over that mess that we saw two weeks ago.

Brittany’s hair is nice too, but that’s about it. Her photo is pretty bad. It looks like she has quite a moustache and looks like she got done telling somebody off, hand motion included. You know what I’m talking about right? When girls do that thing where they shove out their index finger and then pull their hand back when they’re getting their ‘tude on?

Wow that took forever.

The girls go to WalMart. Wow, that’s so high fashion. Joslyn is excited. They meet Sutan and Nigel’s wife, Chrissy Barker. They do a makeup challenge like last cycle’s. Aw, I just say Katarzyna. I miss her, she was awesome. We see Whitney’s Covergirl picture, and I am reminded of how awful it was. Anyways, this time they have to put on their makeup and then do a quick commercial where they explain Covergirl’s shade selector thing. The catch is that there is no script. The winner gets their commercial on the covergirl website and a 1000 gift card for Walmart. Hannah is really peppy in hers, which is slightly obnoxious. Isis’s part was hilarious. “I’m warm beige. See how easy it is? *Cheesy smile*” Analeigh forgets what the name of the selector thing is called. As do I. Brittany fumbles over grammar. Marjorie hilariously says “Thank god…heh…for Walgreens”. Elina fumbles. Analeigh does an enthusiastic “Yo!” at the end of hers. So cute. In the end, Hannah wins. The person that needed the gift card, got the gift card. Hannah is super excited, and says that she gets to google herself! Ok see, that was kind of endearing.

Tyra Mail! Which one of you is suited to be ANTM? The girls astutely figure out that this means bathing suits. Analeigh acknowledges that she needs to step it up.

In an incredibly random bit of DRAMA!!, Brittany talks about how she loves her mom a lot. Elina says that she never loved her mom. She says that her mom doesn’t know how to be a mother, and has never let her show any kind of emotion. She says that that has caused her to be a guarded and controled. Brittany questions if her mom supports her financially, and Elina admits that she does. Brittany questions how someone can hate their mother, and calls Elina an evil bitch in a confession. Ok, WHAT?! That was really judgemental over something that she knows nothing about. Granted, Elina shouldn’t have said that to virtually strangers in the house and on national television, but I understand where she’s coming from. Feeding and sheltering a person isn’t equivilant to love, so I can understand Elina’s viewpoint. Brittany calls Elina out for using her mother, and Elina tries to back out of the conversation.  She leaves, and Brittany calls her a psycho. God, please send Brittany home.

Marjorie and Isis help Analeigh with her posing and faces. Aw, thats sweet. Cool points for Marj and Isis. She feels pressure and admits that she has no confidence right now. Seriously, bottom two edit at its worst. They all get in the bus and go to a house by the beach. This part was really hilarious to me. They totally flipped out over the beach and were staring at it over the ledge when Mr Jay walks up and tries to get their attention. When they turn around to greet him, they’re just kind of like “oh…hi…”. It’s nice to see how much they care about him. They are doing a swimsuit shoot with Russel James, who shot Tyra’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Cover and the music shoot from last cycle. Cool. They also have Susan Holmes, a supermodel who designed the swimsuits. Jay lets the girls know that he won’t help them on the shoot- only Russel and Susan are directing them. Analeigh adorably interviews “All of us were like, whatchu talkin bout?” I would totally make a .gif of it if I knew how. Does anyone want to be super amazing and make it for me? I would love you forever.

Photoshoot highlights:

Sheena did well, and had fun. She looked kind of Pocahontas-y

Joslyn got good remarks.

Susan says that Analeigh needs to work on her moves and be more comfortable.

McKey did well and looked really pretty.

Hannah came across as really schizy, and has crazy eyes. Ha.

Clark does well and looks delicate.

Brittany uses her limited brain cells too hard, and does not do well at all. Bottom two edit strikes again. Russel says it was painful to watch her.

Samantha looked stunning and did well.

Elina says that she’s over the hair and has grown accustom to it. She looks stunning and Russel and Susan love her, but doesn’t exactly have a typical model body.

Marjorie and Lauren Brie do well without much ado.

Isis is nervous about the swimsuit thing, and Russel doesn’t think she has a modelesque face.

Group hug! Aw.

Tyra Mail! Judging! Analeigh is scared, along with Brittany. Once again, way to go editors.

Prizes, Judges, etc. Guest judge is Susan Holmes.

First is Sheena, and they like her makeover. She looks “tropical”. Her photo is good. She smiled with her eyes.

Analeigh’s arms are really creepy in her photo and Susan thinks that she needs more model education. Her face looks stunning to me, but Tyra wanted her to look up as if she had been climbing the rock.

They like Clark’s makeover. They do notice that her mouth is thin ala Christina C4. She looks pissed in her photo.

Hannah gets stuck, and her photo was okay.

Lauren Brie’s photo was amazing, and she looked like Caridee in the water nymph shoot. She gave them a lot of diverse shots.

Brittany sucked. A lot.

McKey is very Linda Evangalista-esque, and looks really stunning in her photo.

Isis was uncomfortable, and has lazy sleepy eyes. Her photo is ok.

Marjorie looks really good in her photo, but kind of looks like a MUCH prettier Jael.

Samantha’s photo is amazing and her hair is amazing.

Elina’s picture is really stunning and Tyra thinks she’s racially ambiguous. Elina looks kind of Asian to me, so I guess Tyra’s right. They do warn her about the troubles of having tattoos though.

Joslyn’s pose is waay to close to the overused HEYY! pose.

The judges deliberate. They show closeups of the photos, and their eyes look so photoshopped. People don’t have eyes that shiny. Also, some people have full body shots and others like Elina have beauty shots. What?

The call out order is:

Elina

Lauren Brie

Samantha

McKey

Sheena

Joslyn

Marjorie (too low)

Clark (too high)

Isis

Hannah

Bottom two is Analeigh and Brittany. As if we didn’t guess that an hour ago. Analeigh is pretty when she cries. Brittany is such a pretty girl, but can’t take photos. Analeigh is criticized because the judges expect more because she ice skates.In the end, Tyra calls Analeigh. Bye, Brittany! She’s sad. Good times! I must admit though, I was scared to death that Analeigh was going to leave.

Personally I though Analeigh’s face was stunning in her shot. I don’t think she should’ve been bottom two.

Next week will have bowling and two eliminations, one of which is at a challenge.

Here’s the photos in no specific order-